2020 – the year that will stop you or change you – your choice
Canceled. Postponed. Rescheduled. When looking at your calendar, those words could be popping up a lot. International travel plans – Canceled. Concert for the band you’ve looked forward to seeing – rescheduled. Race you’ve been training for – Canceled. Every sporting event – postponed. After a while, hearing those words over and over again can feel a little defeated.
What about the goals that you set for yourself? Do those have the same words tied to them? Canceled. Postponed. Rescheduled. We are well into the back half of the year, so it is gut check time – are you still on track? We all go into the year strong, with high hopes when we set out for the new year. We look at January 1 as a fresh start. Then things pop up that get us distracted. It could be a new responsibility at work. It could be a sick loved one. Or it could be a pandemic that shuts down the world without warning. What does that mean for us? Does it mean that our goals are no longer valid? Do you feel like you need to give up?
If you feel like you have gotten slightly off track or completely derailed from your plan for the year, I am here to tell you that hope is not lost. You can hit the ‘refresh’ button. Let a new set of words define your goals and year. Refresh. Refocus. Renewed. Restart. When you hit the refresh, what I challenge you to do is find your WHY. Question your goals and why you set them in the first place. This will help determine why you are not on track to hit your goal, or to determine if it was the right goal to begin with.
If you look at the core definition of what questioning is, it is the ability to organize our thinking around what we don’t know. How can we improve ourselves and our lives without asking the right questions? When questioning your goals, first identify all the things that have potentially changed in your world from when you first established your goals. Change for you this year may include your financial stability. Did you or someone in your household have to take a recent pay cut or experience job loss (temporarily or permanently?) Is our contentious political and civil landscape occupying more of your free time and mental space? Has your schedule changed dramatically with new or significantly reduced obligations? Have you struggled to gain access to basic resources, hobbies and mental outlets? Has the new virtual way we communicate and connect to people posed a challenge? Not shockingly at all, any one of these can lead to an increased feeling of fear and uncertainty.
Once you’ve identified your barriers, or things in your life that have changed, the next step would be to get to the root of what aspect of your life your goal was focused around in the first place. This is how you identify your WHY. I think of goals in 4 different buckets:
1. Wellness – this is the totality of your health – both physical and mental. This is where I would place things like travel, weight goals, hobbies, etc.
2. Finances – this is anything revolving around money management. It could be saving up for a future big purchase, chunking down debt, or educating yourself around the stock market. (I’ll give you a hint, tracking the stock market is about as useful as tracking a hurricane’s path)
3. Career – your professional path. Did you have goals based on where you are wanting to get to with your career.
4. Relationships – connection with others and yourself.
When something big happens in your life, such as the pandemic, it could make your actual goal unattainable, but there is still a chance that the goal bucket is still the right one. Maybe travel isn’t a possibility right now, but your overall wellness improvement could be. This is where asking the right question becomes so important. WHY did you have ‘Travel to Paris’ on your goal list? Was it because you deserve an escapade someplace fabulous for a mental break? Was it to be able to see something new? Was it to get an authentic ‘French Kiss?’ If you can say yes to any of those questions, (except for maybe the French kiss) the next question you could ask would be what are other ways I can accomplish that same ultimate goal in these new circumstances?
A real life example for me was that I set a goal to run the 2020 Chicago Marathon. I kept out hope most of the year that I would actually participate in a live marathon this year, even though I knew that was a long shot. The news of the race being canceled was disappointing. I started soliciting opinions of those around me on what I should do and how I should take the news after months of training. That is when a wise person asked me what was my WHY. After thinking about it, I realized it was because I knew my workouts were beginning to get complacent and I wanted a new challenge for my body. Nothing about this pandemic says that I can’t continue to do that. So while I might not be able to check off the goal this year that I completed a marathon in 2020, what I can do is continue to condition and prep my body and sign up for the first available race. In the meantime, I will be able to enjoy the physical benefits of the increased endurance and stamina that comes from long distance running.
However, that answer isn’t enough. ‘Pushing myself physically’ is a good motive for a marathon, but even that isn’t my ultimate WHY. After truly looking at myself inside to see WHY do I have this need to push myself physically, I realized it was to prove to myself that I could complete in an elite athletic challenge because I’ve never considered myself athletic. It doesn’t come naturally to me. I was never picked first in a team sport and have questionable coordination skills. Being able to run 26 miles isn’t easy but it is something that even a non-athlete like me could do.
Is that a good WHY? To prove I can be an athlete? No – even that answer isn’t enough. Getting to your WHY means you must dig deep. My true WHY is my daughter. I want to be the example that she can do anything she puts her mind to. I want her to grow up to realize that she is not limited in her potential. I want her to see that through training and hard work she can play that instrument, compete in the race, get into the school she wants or land the dream job. I want to be that example to her through my actions.
If my WHY is to be an example to my daughter that she can do anything, does a marathon have to be my goal to achieve that this year? Of course not. Can I still achieve my WHY even in a pandemic? Absolutely. Will it look different? Without a doubt. Does changing your goals 8 months into the year mean you failed? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Define your WHY. Hit Refresh. Refocus your goals. Renew your attitude. RESTART.
Change is uncomfortable. Canceled is disappointing. Fear of the unknown can be crippling if you allow it. We have a choice to make. Are we going to give up, and declare that 2020 is just the worst then wait for the clock to stroke midnight on December 31st, as if there will be a magical change that takes place in our life? Or do we want to take ownership of our circumstances, and allow tomorrow to be our ‘January 1st’ and the opportunity to go into the remainder of the year with a renewed attitude of personal success?
I encourage all of you to hit the refresh, and make 2020 your Best Year Yet!