Here we are again. The end of what, at times, felt like the longest year ever. While at the same time, gone in a blink. It reminds me of those first 3 months when my daughter was born. The days were so long and so hard. The mental exhaustion that comes from being cooped up inside, caring for a small person that you are getting to know for the first time, while also being responsible for keeping them alive and happy. I longed for adult conversation over a cup of coffee with a friend. At times I couldn’t wait to get back to work. Some days it felt like a monumental accomplishment to take a shower and put on fresh pajamas. But then I blinked, and my 3 month bonding time was up, and I was back at work, wishing for that time back.

Now, I don’t think anyone is going to be wishing for a repeat of 2020. To all the mommas who had their babies during this pandemic, I salute you. I can’t imagine what it would be like in true isolation rather than the temporary isolation we put ourselves in with a newborn. While I sit here in the same place as the rest of you, thankful that we can put a year of civil unrest, political divide, a global pandemic, and some of the worst natural disasters we’ve seen (to name a few), there are things to be thankful for.

A year of canceled plans, wide-open calendars, and forced togetherness (or isolation from) with the members of your household gives you a new perspective on things. I cooked more meals at home, read a lot more bedtime stories, took on some home remodeling projects and ran outdoors (a lot). I also spiraled down the social media rabbit hole, coped more than normal with alcohol, and binge-watched an unhealthy amount of TV. Many people dealt with extremes – either overworked because their jobs are essential or just trying to get by on a new state of unemployment. After a year of trying to see through a cloud of uncertainty, it is hard to even think about setting goals or expectations for the next year. As you try to look ahead through the fog, here is the advice I give to you and that I am giving to myself. 2021 is not the year for your Big Audacious Goals. Make 2021 the year of small wins.

In our house, we look forward to Sunday each week. We call it Get Right Sunday. This day is called the day of rest for a reason. We don’t make plans. We straighten up the house. We take naps. We organize for the week ahead. We end the day with a bubble bath. It is a day to try to clear our heads and recharge before another week ahead. Maybe 2021 just needs to be a Get Right Year. A chance to reset and get back to the rhythm that you felt before 2020.

If you know me, you know I’m a planner. At the beginning of every year I have a big vision board with all the accomplishments that I want to see happen. I shared the worksheets last year on a previous blog that you can reference if it still applies to you. I keep my vision board posted in my office as my daily reminder of what I am hoping to achieve. It keeps me motivated and reminds me of what I need to focus on. This year was different. It was a reminder of the things I didn’t do. My vision board now was a source of stress instead of motivation. Instead of making a big statement of what I want to see for the year of 2021, I am focusing on one good thing to work on for the week. No big vision. No board. Just a start in the direction of Getting Right. Maybe it will be different the following week, or maybe I will keep check the same box each week for the year and I can say at the end of the year that I completed one small change in my life.

If you read my previous posts, you saw that I bucket goals into a couple of different groups:

1. Wellness – this is the totality of your health – both physical and mental. This is where I would place things like travel, weight goals, hobbies, etc.

2. Finances – this is anything revolving around money management. It could be saving up for a future big purchase, chunking down debt, or educating yourself around the stock market. (I’ll give you a hint, tracking the stock market is about as useful as tracking a hurricane’s path)

3. Career – your professional path. Did you have goals based on where you are wanting to get to with your career.

4. Relationships – connection with others and yourself.

My small wins in 2021 look like this:

1. Wellness: Focus on mental health.

I am going to turn off the TV/Phone 30 minutes before going to bed. That might not sound like a lot, but I have gotten in a habit of binging shows or scrolling TikTok until I’m exhausted and rolling into bed. For 30 minutes instead I hope to read, do a skin care routine, read a magazine or book, or simply meditate.

2. Finances: Cut back on the online shopping.

2020 got me in the habit of having everything delivered to me. I avoided public shopping like I avoid Curry, which ramped up my online shopping habits. Convenience comes at a price, so I need to make another sacrifice to make up for it. My small win for 2021 will be not to click through on any social media product ads and deactivating all non-essential online shopping apps. It is embarrassing how many packages come to my house that I forgot I ordered because of a late night Instagram ad that got me.

3. Career: Create boundaries.

I was one of the fortunate few that are in an essential industry. I worked a lot of hours this year and the time that my day started and ended got very fuzzy. So rather than having a goal for career advancement in 2021, my goal is to create better boundaries. I want to set a certain time in the evening that I give myself permission to stop working and focus on my family. If you are in a state where you are now in the career hunt again, maybe your goal could be to spend an hour a day focused on sending out resumes, following up, researching companies, etc.

4. Relationships: Continue the family time 2020 created.

Connection was difficult in 2020, and most likely will continue for the better part of 2021. This is where the ‘thankfulness’ of 2020 comes in for me. My small win in 2021 will be if we can keep some of our family routines in place. Friday Night Pizza and Movie night has become something we all look forward to. If 2021 continues to have that routine in place, I will call that a win.

Track your small wins

Mark each day that you show up to achieve your win. A friend of mine keeps a note book each year where she simply color codes her day. Red was a bad day. Yellow was an ok day. Green was a great day. She is a very positive spirit and her notebook has lots of greens in it. Her small wins that lead to greens are things like seeing a beautiful sunrise. Consider doing the same. For every day you accomplish your small win, give yourself a check mark, or a happy face, or a green day. At the end of the week, you might have 4 check marks and 3 frown faces, but that is still more days where you had a win than days you didn’t.

Reward your small wins

We might be calling these small wins, but they add up to something big. Celebrate it! If I was able to turn off the TV and put away my phone every single night for a week, I might reward myself by getting my favorite coffee at Starbucks to kick off my Monday instead of my normal coffee at home. That reward doesn’t have to be something that cost money. It could be an old school sticker star system to show each day you accomplish it.

It is easy to say your goal for 2021 is the same as how it ended up being in 2020, to just survive it. But instead of surviving, take it back. Take back your routine, even if it’s different. Take back your mental health or get the support you need to do it. Let’s Get Right in 2021.

Seeing through a cloud of uncertainty